~ The subconscious stories are imprinted deep into your psyche. When the mind listens to these stories, we will live by the rules of these stories. We don’t manifest our ideal life, we manifest fear driven from stories into our life.


Ask yourself this question: Are you happy with where you are? If the answer is no, then I have exciting news for you. After reading this blog post you will know where to start to transform your life.

This blog post contains a lot of information that is organized in easy steps to follow. Do you not know where to start changing your story? Then read this blog post, follow the steps and start to take back the control of your mind!

It’s your birthright to feel fulfilled in your life. You are here to create your own life. What is the life you always dreamed? It’s your right to live in that – your dream – realty.

Do you have dreams, desires? Can you imagine having achieved all your goals? Imagine the women or men you want to be. If that woman/man is living a different life than you are right now, you need to change your life. I believe in you, you can do this. It may take time, effort and energy, but you are a boss lady/gentleman.

Do you believe in yourself the same as I believe in your power? Maybe you feel overwhelmed, you have so many desires and you don’t know where to start. In this blog post I am going to give you the secret key.

1. The Choice

This secret key has to do with your mind. We humans have a very powerful mind. But with power comes two sides, the light and the dark side. Anyone with power has the choice to use it for good or for bad. Every politician, CEO and even writers of blog posts like these are being exposed to a choice, they choose their ego or their soul. It is a choice between your head and your heart that ultimately results in a life full of fear or full of love.

When we live out of fear, our thinking and actions are motivated by fear that has been implanted into our mind by stories. The stories contain negative anticipations of the future. These stories protect us from danger. But the thing is, it also keeps us locked, our mind and heart can’t experience life deeply. The subconscious stories are imprinted deep into your psyche. When the mind listens to these stories, we will live by the rules of these stories. We don’t manifest our ideal life, we manifest fear driven from stories into our life. We are locked, our mind locks our desires and inspiration.

As long as we let negative stories control our mind, we won’t control our mind. We need to take back the power of the mind. The first step is acknowledging the power of the mind. Since you are reading this blog post, I assume you have already taken the first step. You can be proud of this, I am proud of you!

2. Your Story

The second step has to do with self awareness. Are you living in the moment? Look around you, do you really feel where you are? It’s important to be present in the moment. To be conscious of every step you take in life.

When we are living with this awareness, we will be able to see patterns. We realize which patterns we are living in and which one serves us and which ones don’t. These patterns will also show us our beliefs.

For example, you realize you have a pattern of always getting anxious in social situations. You tell yourself you have social anxiety. This is a story you tell yourself maybe consciously or maybe subconsciously. But it’s a limiting belief. Is your identity: social anxiety? No, it’s a label you put on yourself. With this (sub)conscious label you block your potential. You block your potential of living free of social anxiety.

Of course your mind will always get scared in social situations, since this is the story it’s being fed. And what we feed our mind with, will become our reality. You realize by now the importance of your story, how much influence it has. Not only does it help you mentally, but also emotionally, physically and spiritually. 

Connect with your body, where is it blocked? Look around you and notice the patterns in your life. Are these patterns serving you or not? What is the story you tell yourself that creates these patterns?

A lot of people tell themselves stories that have to do with acceptance. They are afraid to show their real self to the world. Afraid of the judgment. We are afraid that we will be excluded from the rest if we show too much individuality. We think that if we show our authentic selves, people will dislike us.

But do you really want to live an inauthentic life, because you are afraid of negative people? The people that dislike you are not worth it, Queen/King. If they can’t see your light, they are not worth it. They are not worth you giving up on your dreams.

3. Source Of Your Story

If we want to change our story, it’s important to know where they came from. There must be a reason why you are telling yourself this negative story. What is the core of the story, what is it that this story tries to protect you from? What is your fear?

Most of the stories come in our childhood. So if you want to find out the source of your story, look at your childhood. What traumatic event happened, maybe you haven’t realized that you experienced a certain situation as a trauma. Subconsciously, you remember everything.

Before I was even out of my mothers womb, I experienced a trauma. I can’t remember this consciously of course, but my subconscious (mind) still remembers it.

Early on it indicated that I would have a will of my own! I didn’t want to get out of my mothers womb yet. But the biological clock really said it was time. I don’t know exactly what happened, but the bottom line was I was stuck. I know they were going to try it again the natural way one more time or they’d do a cesarean section. In the end, I was born naturally.

As a child I was always very rebellious about putting on clothes. I was afraid, afraid that I would get stuck in my t-shirt, this sounds stupid, but it always made me very anxious. I still have this, in moments like this I have to say to myself: “Calm down, it’s going to be okay, don’t panic.” I think there could be a relation between my birth and these fears.

Do you recognize yourself in this, have you also experienced something like this? It is important that you acknowledge this. It is also important that you understand the impact it has on you. Has it resulted in a story you tell yourself?

4. Know The Timing

This may seem obvious but it’s very important to know. When do you tell yourself these stories? When do you feel fearful?

The only way to truly take back the power of the mind, is to know when we give up control. When do you let these stories control you? When you know when you do that, you can say no. Say no to this story, this is not you, it’s a false belief. This doesn’t protect you, it only blocks your potential.

When we know which situations trigger this belief, we can change them. Instead of feeding the negative story with external impulses. Let’s change it to a positive story and feed that one.

5. Imagine Yourself

When we choose to live from the ego, we choose to live in fear. We live for people’s acceptance. We live for people’s approval. You live according to OTHER people’s expectations of YOU. Is that the life you want to live? To be part of their life? To be one of them? Think very deeply about this, do you understand it?

When I realize I’m letting negative people have too much control of my life, I remind myself of something. I remind myself that they are not worth the worries or fears, after all…

If you can’t see my light, you are not worth it,

You are not worth my energy,

I spend my energy rather on someone who can see my light..

6. Exercise: JOURNALING

For the next step you will need to grab some paper and a pen. Ask yourself the following question:

What happens when I am going to let the people that don’t like me control my life?

Write down whatever comes to your mind, don’t think too much about it. I will give you some examples.

  • I block my human potential.
  • I won’t be authentic to myself.
  • I will live in fear.
  • I won’t manifest my dreams into reality.
  • I won’t be the woman I aspire to be.

While you are reading the list you’ve made, ask yourself: Is this what you want your life to be like? The answer will probably be no. You are worth so much more, you don’t even realize it!

Do you recognize yourself in the list you have made? Ask yourself why you are living for people that don’t and will not like you? Write about this in your paper or journal.

And now do the same but then with this question:

What happens when I am going to let the people that do like me control my life? (A.K.A. like minded people)

I will give you some examples now.

  • I will take care of my body physically, mental and spiritual.
  • I will wear whatever I want.
  • I will live my dream life.
  • I will feel more feminine in my body.

Now look at the list you have made. Does this sound nice to you? If so, this is a sign to change your mindset. Instead of being motivated by fear, be motivated by love. Get a growth mindset and realize life is a journey that goes in cycles and patterns, ups and downs. You are the one who controls if this pattern is going downhill or going up.

If you want to find out more about your mindset, then I recommend reading my other blogpost. In this blogpost I will talk in dept about what kind of mindsets you have and how to use them. The link is right here: Get A Killer Mindset!

7. Your Limitations

So you are at a point where you know you want to change your way of thinking, you want to change your story. Then it is very important to know in which area your story has influence. When does fear take over your mind? In which situation do you feel anxious, this is a sign that you tell yourself a story. Also, notice what this story does to your body, mind or emotions. At these moments, ask yourself where this feeling stems from.

Try to find out where the story you tell yourself limits you. Find out if the story you want to change you physical, emotional, mentally or spiritually limits. Do the stories you tell yourself limit the presentations of your body, heart, mind or spirit?

For example, if you tell yourself a story that you will never be good at a certain sport, then notice that this is a limiting belief. A belief that keeps you away from succeeding at this sport. The fun part is you can change it by changing your story.

8. Stimulation Of Your Story

How come we still have this story in our mind, when it doesn’t serve us, right? Well this is because subconsciously this story is still stimulated. This is a bit hard to explain so I will give you an example.

So imagine yourself as a small dog…

You are a small dog and you tell yourself this story: I am a dog and will never be as big as the other dogs. So you are a small dog and you are insecure about your height. Together with your human (funny right) you are walking to the dog area. You see a lot of other dogs, big dogs. They make you feel bad. You only focus on the other bigger dogs. Guess what is happening? Exactly this stimulates your story.

Your mind is a trickster, it only focuses on what it is told to focus on. If you tell yourself that you are small and other dogs are big, then of course you are only going to register the fact that you are smaller than the other bigger dogs. What you don’t register is that there are lots of other dogs, like you, that are also small.

8. Creating Your Story

Now comes the real fun part! It’s time to use our imagination.

What do you want to achieve in life? Set goals.

Who do you want to be? Show up as her.

What do you want to change? Transform it.

Become very clear with what you want in life. It’s very important to write all this down. All your goals, dreams, visions and even ideas go onto paper.  

Now you know what, when and how you tell yourself these stories. You can change them into the story you want it to be. This will not happen overnight, but if you keep motivated and focused, you will succeed. I believe in you and so do the stars, planets and the moon.

Look at the habits you have. Are they serving your old story? If so, you need to change them, this will ask some discipline of you.

And now look at the lifestyle you want to live, your dream life. Other than mental change, this also requires physical change. Change your habits. What habits do the women/men have you aspire to be? Adapt these habits into your life.

I have already made a blogpost about Healthy Habits to adapt. You can check this blogpost for inspiration.

10. EXERCISE: Love yourself

It’s important to feel your new story very deeply. Imagine your dream life and feel your body, mind and energy change. How does this story make you feel? Loved, I hope. To help you embody this energy, I have created the next exercise. This exercise will show you what kind of habits you need to change. This will be different for everyone.

Its actually a really easy exercise. The only thing you need is pen and paper. Or you can do this on your phone, but I recommend writing.

Write down:

[Because I love] followed by whatever comes to your mind. Connect with your mind, body and spirit and follow their guidance. Write down everything you can think of. I will give you now some examples of this exercise:

  • Because I love myself, I eat healthy.
  • Because I love nature, I thank the trees and plants.
  • Because I love animals, I pet them.
  • Because I love life, I live in the moment.
  • Because I love …, I…

You get the idea.

If you want to find out more about the influence of love and fear on your life then I recommend reading my other blog post. In this blog post I write in depth about living in fear or living in love. The link to the blog post is here: Are You Motivated By Fear Or By Love?

I really hope this blogpost helped you in some way. Let me know if this helped you and if you have any questions you can always message me. If you want to add additional information or have tips, you can always send me a message.


The SUN is a methaphor for light. Physically, she brings light and this way helps plants to grow. Furthermore, we as humans need the sun for vitamin D. I also believe that we need the sun for our happiness. In the winter when there is less sunlight I feel more down. It’s a great time to do other things, but I can’t focus to much on living life to the fullest. (I focus more on making plans, wheras in the summer I act upon those plans).

What I am trying to say is that the SUN is the live force. That’s why I wanted to include this celestial body in this blog post. If you truly want to change your stories, you want to change your life. I think connecting with the SUN can help you with that. By focussing on the light, you will be able to express your light more. Don’t fear yourself, be weird and be unique. Say no to the stories that keep you stuck in the darkness and the past, it’s no longer you. You have now embodied the light of your authentic self!

On this site I have more information about the Planets. I think finding out your dominant planet will help you become more authentic and will make it easier to follow your soul purpose. To find out your dominant planet you can take this quiz.

Let today or tonight be an enlightening time and may you connect with your energy. Take a deep breath and get in touch with your energy. Just be in this moment!

You can leave your name and email below, if you want to stay in contact with me. And if not, I hope you will have an amazing life full of love and joy!

May our souls meet again!

-xx- Nella


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I am M. Nella and the owner of this website: by M. NELLA. My name means light and that’s also what I want to see more in this world.

It’s about finding your voice and taking your power back, then use this power to spread light into the world. With this website I want to help you find your light, your strengts.