~ This life is not a competetion, it’s not you vs. everyone else. This life is you vs. you!


Sometimes I wonder were confidence comes from.. Is it in our DNA or the way we were raised in our childhood.

How does confidence work and can it be faked? In this blog post you are going to find out. Self confidence means you accept and trust yourself. You know your weaknesses and accept them, you know your strenghts and use them. Confidence means you have a positive view of yourself. But how do you accept yourself so deeply, that even your shadow side is being embraced?

Some people look like they own the show, they walk with their heads heigh, shoulders back and smile at everyone. People admire these people, they make you turn your head, they get noticed.

I think with lack of confidence that is part of the problem. You don’t want to get noticed, you want to just live your live without getting attention.

So if you want to become more confidence and have a higher self esteem you need to get comfortable with yourself. Be proud and see your own worth. You are worth to get noticed, peope need someone like you in their lives!

In this blog post I am giving you more tips on how to be more confident. Keep reading if you want to find out!

1. Stop Comparing Yourself

First you need to stop comparing yourself with others. It’s useless, everyone has a different life path and needs to learn different things. You are not your bestfriend, neighbour, college or the influencer you are following on instagram.

That brings me to something else… If neccesary, unfollow people on instagram. Be very critical with this, are the people you are folowing really affecting your life positive? Or are they just waisting your time and energy?

Focus on yourself and the things you want to achieve. Try to be 1% better than you were the day before, everyday.

This life is not a competetion, it’s not you vs. everyone else. This life is you vs. you!

The only thing you need to worry about is growth. This doesn’t mean your income must be always growing, it means that you learn new things about yourself. You learn about the world around you and accept your path.

You see in every failure a lesson. When it rains you thank the rain for the fertility and clarity it gives.

Look at the cup halfway full rather than halfway empty.

2. Use Affirmations

Seed some positivity in your mind at the beginning of the day. You can write powerful quotes on a note and stick them on places you look in the morning or during the day.

Something I really like is to add affirmations or nice quotes to my background on my phone. I make a vision board with nice sentences and pictures, I use this to help me embrace the energy for the future me I want to be. I use the app PicsArt and Canva, Canva is availble on the phone and the laptop.

P.s.: On my pinterest profile I have a board caled “VISION BOARDS“, on this board you can find many visionboard examples. Maybe they will inspire you, take a look: VISION BOARDS.

Affirmations don’t work equally well for everyone. But it is definitly worth it to try it.

Use affirmations in front of a mirror, or in the bathroom at work. It doesn’t matter, as long as you keep repeating them.

Here is a list of some positive affirmations for confidence:

  • Confidence may come and go but it is my choice when I want to be.
  • I am open to being confident.
  • I love who I am being.
  • I exude confidence.
  • I am open to accepting myself.
  • Confidence comes naturally to me.
  • I am worthy of being confident.
  • My self-esteem improves daily.
  • I embody confidence.

3. Wear What Makes Your Confidence

Your outfit can affect your confidence. When you feel like you don’t wear relly nice clothes, you feel less confident. You don’t feel like the QUEEN or KING you are!

It is important to know who you want to become. Then wear the clothes this person would wear.

Explore your style more and have a nice wardrobe that fits this style. Only wear clothes you feel empowered in.

Use small tips and tricks that will immediately elevate your outfit. If you want to know read more about improving your outfits, you can read my other blog post about Ways To Look Beautiful Everyday.

To spice your outfit a bit up, and make you feel even more confident, add some accesoiries.

Colors like red and black make you feel very strong, use them in your wardrobe.

4. Journal About Self Love

Journalling is such a nice way to spend your mornings or evenings. For me it’s a time to relax and let things go.

What I love about journalling is that it connects the mind with the heart, logic with intuition.

When journaling I can connect the Yin and the Yang within me, the feminine and the masculine.

By journalling you write positive things about your life, memories, stories or ideas. When reading them back later, you will look back with a smile at it.

This will boost your confidence for sure! And it wil also make you appreciate life more.

If you are still not sure if you want to start journaling, you can read my other blog post. In this blog post I explain to you why you should start a travel journal. But in general journaling about your life experiences will improve your confidence. The link to my blog post is here: Reasons Why You Should Start Journaling.

5. Practice Self Love

Adopt habits that help you achieve self love. Fogive yourself for the things you have done in the past. A lot of the time we blame ourselves for situations that we had no control over.

Love yourself for who you are. I know this is what everyone tells you, but it’s true.

You ARE an amazing person and you have a beautiful soul. You are exactly were you should be right now.

Have fith in yourself and the world that everything will be exacly how it should be.

Give yourself a massage, you don’t always need someone else to give you affection. Light some candles and massage your legs or whatever you feel like.

Give some love to your body, mind and soul. Read a book, meditate, go for a hike or do something else that makes you happy!

When I am feeling a bit down and need some motivation. I go on pinterest and read some quotes. I have already made a blog post about my favourite quotes for strong women . This blog post will help you see the power within you – you are very strong – and embrace yourself: Best Quotes For Strong Women

6. Reframe Your Mindset

It is so important to have a good mindset! It is important to get a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset.

To know more about your mindset you can read my other blog post on how to get a killer mindset. I had a fixed mindset for a long time. The tips I share in this blog post helped me to change my mindset.

Another tip is to be free from social norms or expectations of others. You don’t have to please anyone but yourself! And if there are people with negative comments about you, just ignore them. It shows that they have time to worry aout other peoples life, while you are foccusing on bettering your self.

Your mindset should be focused on bettering you and yourself! Of course you should care about other people and help them, but not if it brings you in a bad mood.

Take care of your mind and treat it like how you would treat a pet. It needs love, time and care, give your mind that.

7. Connect With Your Heart

I think one of the reasons we lack of confidence, is because we are always thinking in our minds. This is a very normal human thing. But it keeps you overthinking about things that honestly don’t matter.

Start to feel more, just recognize how you are feeling.

Look at the beautiful trees, hear their whispering and smell the fresh rain on the ground. Stop thinking about your work, outfit or the conversation you had earlier. Instead just live life…

…adore the beautiful things, the little things.

When you start to recognize all those small but amazing things in life, you will connect with you heart. Your heart is all about feelings, it can feel the energy and frequencies of things around you. Get in tune with nature and stop worrying about things.

Turn of your mind and tune in the heart!

8. Learn From Pros

A helpfull tool can be to study people that are already confident. How do they walk? What is their facial expression? What do they wear?

Notice all the small details, then adopt the ones that feel authentic for you.

Change is neccesary to become a better you. If someone did not have changed since he/she was 12, they would not achieve a lot of things in life.

When you see a confident person wearing the same type of clothes, it will automatically boost your confidence. You’re like “She rocks those clothes, then I can be confidence in those clothes too right?”

9. Fake It Till You Make It

And of course… FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT! You will not be that confident person in just one day. It is a procces that takes time. Everytime you go to work act a bit more confident.

Just visualize yourself as that confident person you dream about. Then show up as her.

Adopt small habits she would have: have a powerfull walk, smile at the people on the streets and say goodbye to colleagues.

These were my tips on how to be more confident. I really hope this helped you!

Do you have any tips on how to be more confident? Message me or leave a comment.

Have an amazing rest of your day!

-xx- M. NELLA


  1. You are an excellent writer, painting vivid, motivational, imagery in every one of your blogposts. I am so moved by this entry and have even been inspired to write one of my own. Thank you for your dedication to women’s empowerment 🤍

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-xx- M. NELLA