~ It’s about building habits that align with your life, Self and purpose. The habits that will help you achieve your dream life. But what is your dream life…?


She wakes up at 5am, then she writes down affirmations and meditates. Oh, and she eats avocado toast! Is that your version of “that girl? Or is your “that girl” different? “That girl” is so much more, she has awakened her potential, she is living her dream life. She is in you! No, she isn’t the same for everyone.

For some people it means waking up at 5 am, for others it means waking up at 9 am. It’s not about building those healthy habits you see in all these girls on TikTok. It’s about building habits that align with your life, Self and purpose. The habits that will help you achieve you dream life.

Are you confused because you have no idea what “that girl” means? Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you are old. “That girl” is a trend on TikTok. In this trend, girls show in short videos how they are living. These girls are showing their healthy habits. The girls take care of their mental, physical and spiritual health. These girls are being called “that girls”, they are the women people look up to. They are stable and are focused on their own business.

I think this is a great trend. It inspires (young) girls to focus on themselves, instead of other people. These short videos make you want to take more care of yourself, to practice self care and self love.

I do see a but… Even though this trend is focused on very positive things, it still is limited. It shows only one side of taking care of yourself: waking up early, working out, crystals and so on.

Becoming “that girl” is not about just building these habits, it’s much deeper. It’s about building your dream life and changing your mindset. On this planet there are so many humans, of course not everyone’s dream life looks like the videos you see on TikTok.

Being “that girl” will be different for everyone. In this blogpost I am going to give you a guide on finding out who “that girl” is for you. You will learn which habits are will benefit you and which ones are blocking your potential.

You will become “that girl”, in other words: you will become “that girl” from your wildest dreams.

1. Define Your “That Girl”

As I said before, everyone has different dreams in life. If you want to awaken your potential, you need to focus on your dreams. What do you want in life? Answer this question from your heart.

When you close yourself and you are daydreaming, how does this dream look like. This will show you what you deeply desire. Is it love, approval  or something else. If you want love for example, give yourself more love. Love your body, mind, hearth, soul and Spirit.

Another great way to find out your “that girl” is to look at people you admire. Does your mother inspire you, you want to be like her one day? Then look at what she does, what kind of life is she living? If this is the life you want, then let your mother inspire you. The person that inspires you can be a stranger, someone you saw walking by when you were human watching in a restaurant.

That what inspires us, raise our vibration. It does something to our hearth and energy, we feel the vibe. What lifts up your vibe? Is it painting or singing? Then maybe your “that girl” is a painter or singer. You have the potential to be that.

Your potential can be anything you desire. There is only one requirement: you have to feel it. Feel the vibe of your ideal Self. How does her vibe make you feel and what does it remind you of? Does it remind you of apples? Well, then I think instead of avocado toast, you should eat apple toast.

It can be that simple. You can make defining your dreamlife as hard as you want it to be. But realise that it is already within you. All your dreams are within you. We can look outside, at the reflections of our inside to find out what we want. But the best way is to look within. Visualize as if you have eyes within you that can see energy. Where do you see energy? How does it look like? What dreams and desires do you see?

2. Define Her/Your Goals

Do you see yourself living your dream life? Now you know how you want to live, it’s time to become more specific.

What is it that you really want? Is it freedom or is it something specific like a dog?

It’s best to not focus on 30 goals, in the end you will achieve nothing of your “goal list”. Unless they are small ones, then it is possible.

However, I would advice you to focus on 5 up to 10 long term goals. They don’t have to be achieved in a long time, it could be next year or even next week. What I mean with long term, is goals you want to have achieved in your dream life before you die.

As you may already understand, your dreamlife and goals should be aligned. But if you feel intuitively that a certain goal is right for you at this time, don’t feel like it’s a bad goal when it’s not aligned with your dreamlife. I Would say: “Follow your intuition, your intuition knows what’s best at this time and place.”

3. Reflection On Past Self

Your past self will show you where you have been. It will show you what you have achieved with which mindset.

P.s.: If you want to learn more about how to level up mentally and change your mindset, you can read my other blogpost all about mindset.

The past is what has created your LIFE until now. The past is what has created YOU until now. Are you happy with the road you are going. Do you want to take this path?

Are you happy with the past, or are you sad about it? No matter what happened, accept it as the past. The past is no longer you, it has no influence. Only the present will be able to influence you.

We live in an amazing Universe. Everyday we wake up as new persons, with new ideas, new inspirations and new connections.

Everyday we make thousands of choices, these choices make us who we are now. The thing is we can influence the choices we make. Or in fact it’s the other way around, the mind influences the choices we make. And what influences the mind? Yes the soul, the Spirit, your guidance.

We have the ability to change paths every day, hour, minute and even seconds. Believe that nothing holds you back, not the past, not people and not yourself. You can be were you want to be, do what you want to do and be who you want to be.

4. Transformation

What about the past blocks your potential? Look at the patterns around you and see if there is something that is blocking your dreams. Maybe you need to work on your eating habits or on your working out habits.

As I have said before I think it all comes form the Spirit. It’s all energy within us that creates us, our reality and everything else. All this energy can be directed towards things in life. It can be directed towards the shadow aspects of life, those are the aspects we need to heal, we need to give it light and love.

But it can also be directed towards the sacred aspect. We need to focus our energy on the sacred aspects of ourselves. Focus your energy on what you want, that’s not selfish, it’s following your gut.

We are always connected to Spirit, since Spirit is us, it’s all, it’s the Universe. But we as humans sometimes ignore her guidance. She is like a mother, she will let you know were you need to work on. This means that she will guide us sometimes towards a bumpy road.

The road towards our truth isn’t meant to be easy. It’s meant to give us lessons. When we have gone through these experiences, we will find ourselves in our dreamlife. You will get what you so deeply want.

The thing is, you need to be open to change. You need to be able to transform yourself and to get easy in the process. But you can do that! You are made of stardust, your energy is constantly moving. One moment it’s in you, and the next moment it’s somewhere else. You are literally transforming forms of energy itself. You are an alchemist.

Think about this… You are a human being that can transform energy. So if you can transform energy, transforming your past self will be easy right?

5. Your Story

If you want to change your life (for the better). We can’t ignore an important aspect. This aspect is the story we tell ourselves. Most of the time we do this unconsciously, we don’t realize it.

This story is a belief we have in our mind. It influences the way we think and what we think. If you really want to transform yourself into a new you, you have to look at the story/belief you tell yourself. This story can be limiting you.

If you want to find out what the story is you tell yourself, I have made a FREE Guide on How To Rewrite Your Story. Take a look at this blogpost to find out more about your story.

6. Habits Are The Foundation Of Your Life

Look at the habits that are currently in your life. How are they impacting you: positive or negative? If they are impacting you negatively, then try to stop those habits.

Quitting habits is very hard. So I don’t advice you to try quit a habit. Instead, change the habit. For example, instead of trying to quit social media, limit your social media time. You will see that as time goes by, you are less and less on social media. And at some point you will realise that it isn’t benefiting you anymore. Instinctively, you will delete a certain app. This is the method I used to quit ‘bad’ habits.

When I was younger I ate ice cream almost everyday after diner. If I didn’t eat ice cream, I would feel like I was missing something. One day, I realised I had to stop this habit. I decided to change it. Ironically, I had just read a book about habits, this was very helpful.

Instead of quiting eating ice cream after diner, I replaced it with an apple. And let me tell you, it worked! And soon after eating an apple after diner had become a habit, I eat no apple after diner. Just eating diner was enough for me and I didn’t need the apple anymore. My mind didn’t crave the sugar anymore!

But this is just one habit. After I changed this habit, many followed. I became “that girl”. Not the one you see on TikTok (even though there are a lot of similarities) but my own “that girl”. I am building habits that will give me my dream life.

I am becoming every day more and more “that women in my dreams”. I see how a certain vision, comes into reality more and more.

I am so thankful for quitting my ice-cream-habit, it catapulted a whole new version of me!

7. New Habits

Creating new habits asks for discipline. But believe in yourself, because one day it will click. And believe me when I say that this day could be tomorrow.

Everyday try to push yourself into dong something you don’t like. This will improve your mental strength.

Instead of taking that cookie, take that apple. See everything around you as a game. In this game your choices define your future. If you make choices that don’t benefit you, it won’t benefit your future. If these habits do benefit you now, these will also benefit you in the future.

Life is a game, in this game it’s you against you. It’s the shadow against the sacred.

8. Go With The Flow

Something you will realise or what you have already realised, is that when we have a certain amount of discipline, things will go easier. We don’t need to control things, we just flow in life. We do whatever our hearts calls us to do. We do whatever we feel like doing.

When we go with the flow, our life will unfold themselves for us. We only have to set an intention and the Universe delivers.

When you tell yourself that your life is going to change for the better, your life is going to change for the better.

You don’t need to control how or when, you only have to control what. What is it you want? What is it that your soul wants? Follow your desire and your potential, it will direct you towards your life purpose. You will live your dream life!

Small Exercise:

Close you eyes now and visualize your ideal Self.

Experience her experiences;

Feel her feelings;

Hear what she hears;

See what she sees;

Taste what she tastes;

Smell what she smells;

And most of all…

Be who she is.

She, your ideal self, is already within your. She is already outside waiting on you. The only thing you have to do is send the intention out that she will become one with you.

-xx- M. NELLA

P.s.: If you want to learn more about how to level up mentally and change your mindset, you can read my other blogpost all about mindset.


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